In studying nutrition, the biggest contribution that I can add from my own experience is that there is a mind, body, and soul connection. I have felt first hand my pain rise when I get stressed out. In contrast, when I was in excruciating pain I have been able to sit, meditate, and allow it to melt away. A few years ago my husband was going to need a permanent shunt(tube) put in to drain spinal fluid from his brain into his stomach. He fasted for 3 weeks. A pretty restrictive fast and it was so personal that I don’t even know what went on between him and the Lord. A few weeks after the fast ended we went on for his pre-op appointment, and they discovered he was completely healed. I love hearing stories of people who manage conditions with faith, prayer, and meditation.
What I’ve noticed about emotional suffering is that in every case, the hurt was due to not getting what was desired. As I sat with the Lord the beginning of this year, He impressed on me to relinquish the need, or desire, to have things and to do things. There was so much on my plate that I desired in addition to Him. Clothing was a biggie for me. I like to shop. Also, I would like to be in great shape. I desired to be able to walk into a room full of people without anxiety medication. I desired to go to college, not the classes I am taking now, but a full fledged college degree. I considered them all goals, and great ones at that. Doesn’t the Lord want those things for me too?
My thoughts, hopes, and dreams are just more of my possessions. That is my groundbreaking, life-changing revelation. And to want anything, even good things, is to desire something. And not some One.
Jesus Christ is not a possession, but my life blood. He says not to worry about the future and although I kinda’ understood what He meant before, my focused has narrowed. When I remind myself just how fulfilled I am on Christ right now, not “when I’m done with anxiety, or when I get this or that accomplished…”, but when I feel good about what I have and who I am I can enjoy getting by on less.
Something else I realized is that fears are just thoughts and feelings and they are not me. I have begun to feel my fear, you know, face it head on. It began with a simple thing- an elevator. I am not afraid of elevators anymore. (The tiny cart to the top of the Arch in St. Louis doesn’t count… I was still fearful in doing that).
But what about fear of embarrassment? Fear of gaining weight? Fear of rejection? Fear of being snubbed? They’ve either all happened or are happening right now and guess what? I am embracing them. I am sitting in those fears and unattached myself to them. Just like the good possessions I had to let go of, I am letting go of these possessions too.
Philosophy can be a good thing. So many nights I have sat with friends, family, and peers and discussed philosophy. Strangely, some of the most intelligent conversations about God or other subjects happened while on cocaine, for me. My husband took drugs twice in college and he and his friends joked after his one and only time of using the drug pot, that if he continued, he could find a cure for cancer. Moving on, philosophy strives to achieve an order to reality. We love to place a method or an order to the wholeness of Christ. And although we can do this with parts of Him, the whole of Christ would take an eternity to search out and we could never place it onto a spread sheet.
For me, meditation accepts a deep mind, body, and soul connection- all connected with Christ. Meditation is an “inside” thing. Philosophy has it’s place, and we wouldn’t have deep spiritual knowledge without it. But then again, knowledge is just another possession. But meditation, working that internal connection with the Lord on a continual basis, is where I find my attachments and detatch from them. Christ alone can satisfy. Not the group we are in, not the goal we’ve achieved, and not the righteous anger we hold to. Those are all possessions we can choose to pick up or lay down.
You know, yesterday I realized something insightful. Chris and I were invited somewhere by dear friends of ours. Everyone loves my hubby, how can they not? He’s great, selfless, and always trying to help someone. He’s quiet and comforting, and always speaks Christ instead of his own opinion. But me, I’m not like that. I’m difficult. I ask questions. I try to bring the giant purple elephant in the room to attention. I know that I’m the last person most want in their group. I’m okay with that and have already detached from the sadness of that realization.
We decided not to go after a response I got from someone when they found out we were invited. It was less than warm. We both cried and realized for the first time that we held on so tightly to human connections. Just more possessions. If all we actually lived on was Christ- we would have gone. Jesus Christ would have wanted us there. The Christ in others would have wanted us there(and some actually did). Christ is the same, so we can’t differ in that, we can’t differ in Him. So if a relationship is rooted in Him, it will stand the test of time. If a relationship is rooted in thoughts of Him or how we express Him or how we feel or think about Him… well then, our relationships are grounded in possessions.
Everywhere you go, someone or some group will not agree with you. Sometimes if your possessions(thoughts and ideas) are not the same, forget about it. You are wrong and there’s no getting in. Everywhere you go someone or some group will gossip about you(and they never seem to realize that it always gets back to you), but that just means that there’s a whole other group out there willing to embrace you. If you are pleasing one group, you are pissing another off. If you are angering a group just by who you are and what you express, then you are probably attracting great friends in other areas. That is what I’m finding. We can never be friends with everyone all the time. Friendships are possessions. Wanting to be accepted, even if it’s just to be the puppy dog of the group, can feel better than being alone. Being accepted is one desire, one possession that we grip to tightly.
And if you are a Christian and believe that Christ holds us together, then you know who your Brothers and Sisters are by the binds that are held strictly by Christ- not personalities or similar ideas. Not philosophies or agreeeing with the loudest or most agressive, or even the kindest and most likable- that’s what tears people apart. If you are held together by Christ, if it’s He that binds us(Christians), then we are linked in love whether we’ve gotten to the place where we can recognize it or not.
There are those who think that all blogs should be uplifting, but life is not always uplifting, so I am sorry if I offend anyone. I write what I go through and get a lot of positive feedback in the form of private messages. So I know I am okay in sharing my whole heart. Thanks for reading guys and girls. Be Blessed or Blesssed Be depending on what you believe.:)