Getting to the Root of Life

In studying nutrition, the biggest contribution that I can add from my own experience is that there is a mind, body, and soul connection. I have felt first hand my pain rise when I get stressed out. In contrast, when I was in excruciating pain I have been able to sit, meditate, and allow it to melt away. A few years ago my husband was going to need a permanent shunt(tube) put in to drain spinal fluid from his brain into his stomach. He fasted for 3 weeks. A pretty restrictive fast and it was so personal that I don’t even know what went on between him and the Lord. A few weeks after the fast ended we went on for his pre-op appointment, and they discovered he was completely healed. I love hearing stories of people who manage conditions with faith, prayer, and meditation.

What I’ve noticed about emotional suffering is that in every case, the hurt was due to not getting what was desired. As I sat with the Lord the beginning of this year, He impressed on me to relinquish the need, or desire, to have things and to do things. There was so much on my plate that I desired in addition to Him. Clothing was a biggie for me. I like to shop. Also, I would like to be in great shape. I desired to be able to walk into a room full of people without anxiety medication. I desired to go to college, not the classes I am taking now, but a full fledged college degree. I considered them all goals, and great ones at that. Doesn’t the Lord want those things for me too?

My thoughts, hopes, and dreams are just more of my possessions. That is my groundbreaking, life-changing revelation. And to want anything, even good things, is to desire something. And not some One.

Jesus Christ is not a possession, but my life blood. He says not to worry about the future and although I kinda’ understood what He meant before, my focused has narrowed. When I remind myself just how fulfilled I am on Christ right now, not “when I’m done with anxiety, or when I get this or that accomplished…”, but when I feel good about what I have and who I am I can enjoy getting by on less.

Something else I realized is that fears are just thoughts and feelings and they are not me. I have begun to feel my fear, you know, face it head on. It began with a simple thing- an elevator. I am not afraid of elevators anymore. (The tiny cart to the top of the Arch in St. Louis doesn’t count… I was still fearful in doing that).

But what about fear of embarrassment? Fear of gaining weight? Fear of rejection? Fear of being snubbed? They’ve either all happened or are happening right now and guess what? I am embracing them. I am sitting in those fears and unattached myself to them. Just like the good possessions I had to let go of, I am letting go of these possessions too.

Philosophy can be a good thing. So many nights I have sat with friends, family, and peers and discussed philosophy. Strangely, some of the most intelligent conversations about God or other subjects happened while on cocaine, for me. My husband took drugs twice in college and he and his friends joked after his one and only time of using the drug pot, that if he continued, he could find a cure for cancer. Moving on, philosophy strives to achieve an order to reality. We love to place a method or an order to the wholeness of Christ. And although we can do this with parts of Him, the whole of Christ would take an eternity to search out and we could never place it onto a spread sheet.

For me, meditation accepts a deep mind, body, and soul connection- all connected with Christ. Meditation is an “inside” thing. Philosophy has it’s place, and we wouldn’t have deep spiritual knowledge without it. But then again, knowledge is just another possession. But meditation, working that internal connection with the Lord on a continual basis, is where I find my attachments and detatch from them. Christ alone can satisfy. Not the group we are in, not the goal we’ve achieved, and not the righteous anger we hold to. Those are all possessions we can choose to pick up or lay down.

You know, yesterday I realized something insightful. Chris and I were invited somewhere by dear friends of ours. Everyone loves my hubby, how can they not? He’s great, selfless, and always trying to help someone. He’s quiet and comforting, and always speaks Christ instead of his own opinion. But me, I’m not like that. I’m difficult. I ask questions. I try to bring the giant purple elephant in the room to attention. I know that I’m the last person most want in their group. I’m okay with that and have already detached from the sadness of that realization.

We decided not to go after a response I got from someone when they found out we were invited. It was less than warm. We both cried and realized for the first time that we held on so tightly to human connections. Just more possessions. If all we actually lived on was Christ- we would have gone. Jesus Christ would have wanted us there. The Christ in others would have wanted us there(and some actually did). Christ is the same, so we can’t differ in that, we can’t differ in Him. So if a relationship is rooted in Him, it will stand the test of time. If a relationship is rooted in thoughts of Him or how we express Him or how we feel or think about Him… well then, our relationships are grounded in possessions. 

Everywhere you go, someone or some group will not agree with you. Sometimes if your possessions(thoughts and ideas) are not the same, forget about it. You are wrong and there’s no getting in. Everywhere you go someone or some group will gossip about you(and they never seem to realize that it always gets back to you), but that just means that there’s a whole other group out there willing to embrace you. If you are pleasing one group, you are pissing another off. If you are angering a group just by who you are and what you express, then you are probably attracting great friends in other areas. That is what I’m finding. We can never be friends with everyone all the time. Friendships are possessions. Wanting to be accepted, even if it’s just to be the puppy dog of the group, can feel better than being alone. Being accepted is one desire, one possession that we grip to tightly.

And if you are a Christian and believe that Christ holds us together, then you know who your Brothers and Sisters are by the binds that are held strictly by Christ- not personalities or similar ideas. Not philosophies or agreeeing with the loudest or most agressive, or even the kindest and most likable- that’s what tears people apart. If you are held together by Christ, if it’s He that binds us(Christians), then we are linked in love whether we’ve gotten to the place where we can recognize it or not.

There are those who think that all blogs should be uplifting, but life is not always uplifting, so I am sorry if I offend anyone. I write what I go through and get a lot of positive feedback in the form of private messages. So I know I am okay in sharing my whole heart. Thanks for reading guys and girls. Be Blessed or Blesssed Be depending on what you believe.:)




2 thoughts on “Getting to the Root of Life

  1. One of the biggest things that people or the world struggles with is needing this since of acceptance, myself included at one time. The feeling behind wanting acceptance is the FEAR of rejection. That fear of rejection can paralyze us to the point where we will not interact with anyone. We will also reject others first so it will not be so painful. Not realizing others can be struggling with this too so everyone is hurt. This is a form of self preservation. BUT TRUTH IS SELF IS DEAD. IT DIED ON THE CROSS WITH CHRIST. Self is only wanting to be exalted. It knows it has been beat but it tries to creep in. Fear of rejection is an illusion of the emeny to those who REST in their acceptance found in Christ alone. TRUTH is that we are already fully accepted regardless. When we realize that the acceptance we are longing for is only found in Christ first, then we can accept ourselves and others. Christ fully accepts us no matter who we are, what we express or do We all have to by FAITH believe that we are truly accepted by Christ because Christ is God’s full satisfaction. This is a internal thing that needs to be settled not an external thing. If we use external things such as situations and peoples reactions to govern this internal truth then we are crippled and are moved from the truth that our acceptance is only found in Christ. There Ephesians 6:12 For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places-THIS ALSO INCLUDED OURSELVES. We have to accept there is not longer a battle over acceptance-because we are accepted in Christ. THis is call RESTING in the work of Christ. When we continue to tell others how unaccepted by them we are it is communicating an internal struggle of, us not truly believing we are accepted in Christ. Regardless of external things we are accepted because Christ is accepted not because of who we are. If someone is looking for proof of thier lack of acceptance then they will find it in this fallen world. But if we turn to Christ for our acceptance we will find it then have Christ’s peace and rest with ourselves and with others.
    We are not united by the light but by the life that we share. Light is our understanding of the Lord, according to us. Which at times can be wrong. We have a shared life, which is CHRIST’s not ours, that is what unites. When we also come to the realization that we are all LEARNING TOGETHER how to live by his life this should allow ample room for “not getting it right”. We ALL want that grace and freedom in this process of learning. If I wanted to leave my husband(group) very time he did not “get it right” what turmoil there would be for the both of us. He is put under condemnation and all he can focus on is the condemnation and not living by the Lord’s life to “get it right”. He is more focused on his condemnation which does not even exist anymore because there is NO condemnation in Christ. Now I have become a puppet of Satan to move my husband(group) off his true position. So it falls on me to realize that my husband(group) cannot love me. I need chose to for myself to live by the Lord’s life to allow the grace that is needed so he(group) can learn how to by the Lord’s life, to love each other. This is the enemy at work if we put people or ourselves under something that does not exist any longer, which is condemnation. The power to overcome is found when we rest, not warring against myself or others, in the accomplished work of JESUS CHRIST on the cross. I am whole, accepted, loved, and find all my fulfillment in HIM alone. I am ENOUGH because Christ is ENOUGH.

    • Amen! Hopefully I am understand you correctly, but it’s the detaching people from how they behave and only accepting the Christ within them. And then doing the same thing with myself. I have found that this can only be done for me within the deep safe meditative cradle of Christ. We can attach or detatch from anything other than Christ. Thank you for the reply.

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