I’m back

We are home after a seven day cruise to the Caribbean. Chris and I learned a lot about ourselves. Our priorities. Our marriage. While relaxing and unwinding, we missed the boys so much that half way through all we wanted to do was to come home. I have never missed them more than I did last week and was so happy to see each of their little faces.

It was sometime during our visit to Mahogany Bay, Roatan that I began to see that not much of what I always considered to matter, actually mattered. We did things that I never thought I would ever do in a million years. Zip-lining through the jungle was one of those things that changed me. I was so incredibly high up in the air, neck and neck with the giant birds that were gliding over the trees, and I could see the ocean forty five minutes away if I looked one way and the mountains of trees if I looked anywhere else. In order to do that, I had to completely let go and relax, I had to forget that I was terrified of heights and let the strength that resides inside take over.

There were moments on our vacation where I had to do something I didn’t want to do, but there was no option in my mind, I was going to do it. Plane rides are terrifying for me. I’ve had doctors give me drugs, but they don’t work. I have panic attacks while in a plane. In those moments when the irrational fear was so overwhelming that my only options were to give in to the strength that Christ lends, I couldn’t take one more minute of being fearful. I am tired of being fearful.

While on the boat Chris got sick for a few days and I had to take care of him instead of doing the thing I wanted to do- visit the Mayan Ruins. We had put down a deposit and lost it. I had to take care of my husband because that’s what I vowed to do when we got married. It was not pleasant, and I wanted to leave the room. When my husband gets sick he is helpless and can be short with me. I really, really wanted to leave the room. It was a lesson in laying myself down in order to serve another human being. I learned that the Christ in me is bigger, absolutely bigger.

This trip is something that we had been looking forward to for a very long time. We saved, and saved, and planned every penny in order to take this vacation. We both learned that our values have changed since our last cruise. We need time alone together and we need vacations, that’s for sure. Only, we no longer see the vacation as our answer to stress and monotony. A cruise can’t do for us and our marriage what it used to do. The unmistakable power of Christ, who is a living Person, and who lives inside of us as He has taken us into Himself, is our peace. It sounds cliche’, even to me, but in the last week and a half, that is what we have discovered. We have said it for years, but we have been changed and they are no longer words that sound good, they’ve happened.

I have been writing pieces on literacy. My mentor with EDC Educational Services has encouraged me to pick a specialty and Literacy for a Lifetime is what I felt led to. I hope to post a few papers here and there and hopefully will get some feedback and constructive criticism. My husband can only give so much, I want more. So following this blog entry, later tonight, I’ll post one of my latest word docs I wrote and I hope to hear what you all think. Thanks for reading about my vacation, I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Love,

Jackie

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