There’s a matter on my heart that I would love to blog about, but it’s a little touchy. Bear with me as I have been sitting on it for days and am writing it in love. I have searched my heart and hopefully this doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings, because I am being honest with the Person of Christ as my everything.
It’s been a real struggle for me lately to look past mean actions and see the person of Christ behind the hurting soul that does mean things. I don’t know how girls in high school survive, it really is like a fricken’ jungle out there. And as I look at the bad behavior I see, I wonder, have I ever been the one all nestled in myself while someone I’ve just hurt sits bleeding? I’ve never been content with myself and am constantly judging myself harshly so I hope not, but I am sure that I’ve hurt people and not known it. I’m thinking of a situation, not related to me (I’m new here and have one friend so there is zero drama in my life), but happened to my only friend. Two Christian women teamed up on her. A scenario as old as time itself. I am just going to come out and say it… what’s with the ganging up on people? What’s with talking behind people’s backs? What’s with snubbing people, especially ganging up and snubbing? I don’t understand grown women who like the same people together and hate the same people together and show it with snubbing.
It seems like not much has changed since the years of high school. I opted out then and I opt out now, only now I don’t cut class and do drugs. The only place I have not completely ignored childish behavior has been on this blog. It’s the only place I feel free and safe to talk about it. There have been a handful of times in my life in which I have tried to bring these topics up, wondering if anyone has felt the same way or maybe just trying to work something out and it’s never gone well. I have learned to stick to the blog. I don’t understand what would cause these behaviors in grown ups, but I’m guessing jealousy is #1, and radical misinformation is a close second. I’m pretty sure Christ gives us clear direction in that we are to take our thoughts captive and submit them to Him and we are to lay things like jealousy at the foot of the cross and take on His nature. Seeing someone I like hurt so badly, has me thinking the Aztecs were correct and Christ will be ending this nonsense soon. It’s such bs.
I am a Christian woman. I love Him and I am pretty open about it. My family has all kinds of beliefs and none happen to be the same as mine, but we still get along just fine. Having said that, I think it’s important that as Christians especially, we should be kind to eachother, not just our friends, but all of our Brothers and Sisters no matter what church they go to. Beyond that, we are to be light and life to a dark and dying world. There are documentaries popping up each year about how the world sees Christianity and it’s not good.
Right after my husbands aneurysm I had a lot of people in and out of the hospital visiting and helping in a lot of ways. One small, little, tiny comment, which changed my life and I will NEVER forget, is when a friend of mine came to visit me at the hospital. During that whole time as my husband was fighting to live, there were those who were not very kind to me. Well, they happened to be at the hospital with me because I was too nice and let everyone who wanted to visit come. I asked my friend Leah if she would go move some cars around for me(I forget why). When she came back in she said “when I got into so-and-so’s car, they had Christian music on. Why are the a**holes always Christian?” In fact, she had gotten into the car of a mean person, and they had in fact had Christian music playing. I was a Christian. I didn’t take offense because I knew what she meant. We can be pretty big blank-blanks sometimes. We’re only human.
But here’s the thing, we are not just human, but we have a Holy Spirit who is the Person of Christ living in us. And the world is watching us and they are choosing not to know Him when they see us being mean. I have close friends and family members who don’t want to become Christians because they don’t like the way Christians behave. I hope to God I have not turned anyone away from Him due to my actions and sin, but I’m sure I’ve played a part in the stereotype. I have known the grace and mercy of Christ. I have also known the sting of hurt feelings. As an immature Sister in Christ, those stings hurt too bad to just let go of. But as we grow in Him and become aware of Him, how on earth can we not show the nature of Him?
A Christian who knows who he or she is in Christ is not going to snub or behave like a child. But a young Christian is going to make those mistakes and hurt many people, as they are still learning. We all feel jealous sometimes. Our Lord has felt it over us so we have the capacity to feel jealous. I want to write it again, we all feel jealous. Think of the best Christian you know… they feel jealous sometimes, and hurt, and snubbed. What are we to do? Well, the world is watching to see, and Christ in us is wanting to forgive because it’s not in His nature to cause anyone pain for any reason. There are times when it is really, really hard. Like today. When I sat down to write this morning I had this sinking feeling in my heart. Anytime somebody feels hurt, as a member of the Body, I share the ache.
Hopefully, as I go about my day I can be reminded of the wonderful ways the Lord shows Himself to me. Hopefully I can see the goodness in others, because it is there. And as I walk through the day, I walk in forgiveness because I should not be here, I am given time I should not have.
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!