This morning I am betting on the Lord. There is Christ to be had in every situation. One of my favorite verses talks about the Christ in me being stronger than any person in the world. I had never grasped the fullness of the verse. Do you understand the weight of these words?
The thing is, sometimes I can’t tell what’s me and what Christ. I know that anything done of selfish ambition or without love for others is not the Holy Spirit. But what about when the answers are unclear? I have discovered that the more time I spend with Him, conversing, loving, and sharing with Him, the more strength He gains and the more room He’s allowed in my heart. He grows and I become less and less. I see that when I am relaxed during times I should not be relaxed, I can see the Lord. I notice that when truth peeks through human wisdom, that’s Christ shining through.
Chris and I have each other and we believe in the same Christ and we know He makes up who we are. I am not the identities that I give myself or the world gives me, instead I am in Christ. That’s wonderful news when it’s 4 o’clock and I haven’t showered or thought about what I’m making for dinner and the house is a mess because I’ve been trying to finish our unit study activity which should have been done 2 hours ago. Thank you Lord that I am in you and my identity is not a homemaker, because some days I fail at that task. I see that this is a weak example, however I am glad my identity is in Him because I can never live up to any other identity… I am perfect in His eyes and in His Bride. The only requirement is that He was given a home in me and I in Him. Done.
The wisdom of the world is foolishness. And it was the immaturity of man in which had me shouting this from the rooftops. I think my Lord was excited that I was so excited, but He has become more inside of me and He wants to love others and lift them up, not condemn anyone. It’s so obvious it hurts, but if you’ve ever tried to hold back the excitement and strength of knowing who you are in order not to offend anyone, you know it’s hard. I have always loved sharing Christ, but when I became a united with Him I wanted to share all my new wisdom, life, and grace. Since the wisdom of Christ has become clear, I know that He remains quiet often. He doesn’t constantly correct those who know nothing of Him, instead He loves them more than anything and He wants me to love them the same way.
I feel strong with Christ, yet at the same time I feel like I can be vulnerable and soft with Him too. I can be honest with Him and trust Him with my deepest thoughts and feelings and I don’t ever have to worry about being scarred by Him. He doesn’t want to prove me wrong or make me feel bad, He wants what’s best for me. I am excited for the day when we have a church family living within 20 miles of us. One that we can be a community with. I am excited to begin the process of getting to know other Christians who are sold out for living for His purposes. Living in community life with others was glorious and extremely difficult at the same time and we weren’t always behaving “in Christ.” Many times our pride or desire to be at the top poked through and we had to learn the cross. We had to set it all down and die in order that He would go on and nothing else. In Christ there is no “being at the top”. I noticed that the wisest and the ones with the gifts of leadership were the quietest and the most humble men I have ever met. Character qualities of Christ. We were all iron sharpening iron and we love(ed) each other dearly even though at times it got catty. Hey, we’re still in these human bodies. I want that again. I am ready for that.
Me and Chris and the boys are having community life with each other and we are learning the cross in our marriage. We have had a few nice people over and hoped to begin meeting organically, but noticed that the aim of the overall group was home-church and not necessarily Christ. I don’t care where we meet. I don’t care if it’s in a church building. I only want Christ to be the Person we are meeting for. We have yet to find a group so consumed with Christ that all else flows out of Him. Instead we are finding the opposite… evangelism, services, Bible studies, and missions all meant to please and point to Him. I have yet to find a place here in which Christ is the foundation. I have yet to find a place in which the sole passion is Christ. I have yet to find a place in which the money given goes to the poor, but rather the massive billion dollar industry in which only person gets to share and express Christ. Hopefully it doesn’t sound like a rant. I am just expressing my desire to find other believers who share our love for Him and our devotion to His purposes.
All sadness aside, I am grateful that He does provide spiritual manna in times like these. I know it won’t last. I know Christ prevails. I bet my life on it. I see that He is still with me when dealing with difficult people. I can feel sorry inside for their unhappiness instead of anger on the outside for their words or actions. I still see Him in the sunrise and the joy I feel when I am with my husband and kids. His life flows through our home and although it’s getting lonely without others who are like-minded, He has not left us or weakened in us.
There is a lot to be thankful for tomorrow at the table. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and thank you for reading.