homeschooling didn’t make the cut

I would love permission today to share my mind on a controversial topic and I hope to not get put on the chopping block for it. A lot of my other posts this week have been leading up to this and I just need to come out and say it to the world. Dunkin’s Doughnuts did a recent study on who needs coffee the most, according to the jobs people do. On that list was a teacher. Spending all day with other people’s kids? Hell, they need a xanax, a shot of vodka, and coffee. I have tried watching other people’s kids full-time and it sucked. I could never go into a classroom and teach the academics to 20+ kids all day long. A special type pf person is needed to be a teacher. I have friends who are teachers, all of which are currently homeschooling their own kids, or plan to. They are great with kids and I wish I could borrow them sometimes in helping me get my kids to write a poem, do long division, or simply help me scold them.

So, as I watched the morning news show and the women began commenting on the fact that teachers need coffee more than others {I agree with that} because they are shaping and molding young people all day… there it is. There’s my problem. Why on earth is someone other than a parent given credit for, or authority to shape people? Aren’t parents supposed to be doing that? Is letting someone else shape my kids even an option? I’m feeling stressed this week, can I have someone take over while I rest? The infuriating thing is, I could. I could send my kids off for the day and I wouldn’t get any flack for it. In fact I would get credit for doing the mainstream thing that people are comfortable and familiar with. But sticking it out and doing the right thing for our family brings me nothing but accusations, stupid questions, and doubt heaped upon me because how could I ever teach a child his ABC’s unless I went to school to do it? I listened to a teacher at a homeschool conference one time who explained that college taught him how to teach groups, how to manage classrooms, and what to teach the kid and at which age. None of that is of use to me. When I began homeschooling, I put myself through a homeschooling moms course of study and I’m still going. I make myself an expert in what I want to know. I wanted to teach my kids so I taught myself everything I needed to know about children, how they learn, and ways to go about sharing life with them.

Lately I have gotten tired. Loneliness has made me tired. I took some time to seek counsel from an indwelling Lord. In order to hear what He wants, I need to quiet myself. Do you know how hard it is to set down the fight I’ve been fighting so I can hear His voice? I found that the leading agenda inside was not my own, and He was leading me the way of doing the harder thing, with the most forgiveness and grace. I am not at liberty to delegate my kids to a teacher six hours a day, at this time. Damn.

Homeschooling is hard, the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than getting off of heroin after 5 years on it. There are days when I don’t want to do this anymore, but there’s a quiet and strong voice inside that encourages me to continue on. Some people are lucky in that they can have great kids come out of the school system. Unfortunately, that is not the role I am to play right now… the public/private school kids mom.

I homeschool because 1) I want to be the ones to guide them in their first decade of life and give them the freedom to choose the Lord. That is not an option in public school. Theories are presented as fact and if you do not agree, you fail. We believe that the earth was created for a very specific purpose and our foundation hinges on that belief. 2)My kids need to move around a lot and I don’t want them put on medication for it. 3) A teacher can’t give my child the individual attention I can. How is any teacher going to get enough time to talk with my kid each day to make sure he has understood everything? I don’t think it’s fair to use a hand out to find out what a kid knows. Just ask him or her. What if the kid didn’t understand the material because of the way it was presented, completes the handout and fails, and then has a bad grade? That would hardly be learning. It’s a waste of time. It’s not a kid’s fault that he/she is a visual learner/kinesthetic or tactile learner, but the teacher teaches to auditory learners, or vice versa. 4) What are the chances that all 25+ kids are going to be right where my child is at in the book/workbook/thought process? So either my kid is where everyone else is, or he is held back to wait for other kids to catch up, or he is forced to move too quickly, he fails and is held back when all he needed was an extra month, not a whole year.

It’s not good enough. And it’s not the teacher’s fault, it’s the system that’s faulty. I’m not saying that teachers don’t work hard enough, I’m saying the system in flawed and failing. Society reflects this downward spiral, just turn on the tv after 5 pm. Does anyone actually think that most of these sitcoms are funny? We are getting dumber. And there’s not much schools can do about it. Designing a classroom to accommodate every child’s thinking style is impossible. “The only solution that works, especially for those whose children don’t fit the “I love worksheets” mold, is homeschooling” – Mary Pride

Unfortunately the world is not set up to accept homeschooling at its value. We are put under a microscope and every decision we make is picked apart. I am going against the grain and people aren’t afraid to let me know it. The key to making all of it work is knowing the internal acceptance of Christ. I don’t often talk about the will of God because it’s much more vast and wide than I used to think. But I am sure in Christ that it’s the will of God for me to not give up, and to continue to homeschool. In addition to the fact that it just makes sense, good old-fashioned common sense, it is the plan set out before us with certainty.

It’s hard. I’m struggling to keep afloat. And according to Dunkin’ Doughnuts, my job does not make the list of jobs coffee is most required to get started. Could have fooled me. I drink two cups before I ever crack a book. As long as there are people who think that it’s not the parents job to raise, shape, and mold a child’s mind I will be posting these blogs. Thank you for allowing me to post my thoughts, opinions, and my rants.

Love,

Jackie

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