Connecticut

The news is upsetting. I try to stay away from it. The election is over so there’s really no need to watch. Hubby knows this about me and so on Friday evening when he walked in the bedroom and saw me flip the tv on for background noise as I fold laundry, he got nervous and asked if I knew what had happened. No, how on earth would I know? I homeschooled all day, mopped the floors, and went to the post office and the library. He carefully told me about what happened, just as Obama came on the screen to give his condolences to families who had lost their babies(five and six years olds are babies). And the families who had lost the adults who died trying to protect the little ones.

For days my brain has run through all of the realizations these families are going to have to face. The Christmas gifts. The beds still unmade from that morning. I have a kindergartener and a first grader and I am so sorry for what the parents are having to endure. I am so sorry that they will not get to live the life we all get to live. If what I believe is true, if little children are immediately with Christ in Heaven after they die, then it’s selfish to be sad. But there is a reason for earth, otherwise we would all go straight to heaven. I am still trying to find out why we are put here to begin with, why can’t we go right to heaven and love and worship the Savior? If heaven is paradise, the children are there and it’s the mommies and daddies I mourn for. There are darker things in my head, things I imagine happened and the fear I hope didn’t happen and I can’t write those things because it’s just not appropriate.

The large part of my day yesterday was spent with the Lord, thanking the principal and teachers in that school for showing up at work on Friday. Hubby gave me the entire day to myself. I grabbed a duffel bag filled with books and notebooks and I’m going to write about all the wonderful homeschooling revelations I had while with Him later, but first my heart and my words are with the families in Connecticut.

I can imagine that these educators went to school with a love for reaching and inspiring the souls of little people. I can imagine they worked hard to make their classrooms special and that they stayed late and came early in order to put together games and projects that would help the five and six-year-olds learn. I don’t think that they ever thought for one moment that they would have to do the things they had to do. Men go into the military, train for months, and are armed with weapons, and deal with combat. Not teachers. These people who died went into an elementary school prepared to help kids learn and instead they were forced to not only protect these kids, but help keep them calm and feel safe, which is what they did. I am so proud to be a part of the human race, with such brave and selfless people among us. I am so sorry that they lost their lives. They died as heroes.

I have a million blogs that came out of my time with the Lord yesterday, but the lifting up of human beings is by far the first one that needs to be written. It’s a cold world and a horrible circumstance, but there is a goodness alive in people and that became clear when I heard the story of the teachers, and principal, who died just doing their job of taking care of those children.

I hope this day finds you filled with hope for the human Spirit. Thank you God for brave people and for Your Hand in all of this.

Love,

Jackie

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