I became a student in a writing workshop. And the topic of most of the assignments involve Christian psychology. It’s a process in which I play with words and I write about the same topics over and over again in different ways. It’s spilled over into my blog and I’m ferocious with my writing lately. Some days I post twice. I have been taking afternoons here and there to head to Big Bucks Coffee shop and read and write and work on expressing myself through the written word.
At times it is really hard to do that without being nosy or delving into touchy subjects. Right now my heart is with the lonely, the hurting, and the ones who have gotten themselves into trouble. I don’t have anything to give, and I don’t have any plans or ideas. I just know that it’s where we’re at. So that’s why I keep writing about people. From all angles. My husband feels it too. In this life we will never reach the end-all-be-all of Christ on earth. A few nights ago I was feeling bad, real bad. I reached out to a person from the last church I was a part of a received some very practical tools and reminders of how darkness in the world works against us at night. I needed to connect with another human being, and this person knew me well and knew my struggles and had helped before. This person got me through a black as night situation and I am on the other side. And now I have this fire burning in me. All I want to do is surrender myself and I get so emotional and passionate about it. I hope it doesn’t come off as hostile. I would hope that this light in me, this voice that is dying to speak, doesn’t offend others.
We can never please everyone. When I want to write about meeting with the Lord organically I am nervous I’ll piss off my institutional friends. When I want to write about things of Christ I have found in the institution, I don’t want my organic church family to think I no longer “get it”. If I want to write about secular things, I don’t want my Christian friends to feel like I am sinning against the Lord. Because I don’t think that those things are separate in my mind anymore. I may not have the deep knowledge, but I’ve got Christ. I may not have the belief that problems are a result of sin or not looking hard enough at the Lord, but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect those who do feel that way. It’s important we respect each other. And it’s important that I remember what’s fact and what’s my opinion, and what’s another’s opinion too.
I am free in Christ and I’m not going back to knowing anything else. I am a practical person and don’t follow seriously deep spiritual talk. I have a hard time reading certain Christian authors, but can read through King James like a champ. I have realized that the word is very sharp, and doesn’t leave my questions unanswered. I read over and over again Paul’s words and find it comforting that at one time he uses the phrase “that I may know Him”. I have thought on this day and night for days now and want to live my life that I may know Him. So why would Paul, who was living by Christ’s life write that he may know Him? Maybe Paul knew that one day we will actually get to know Him and now we are doing it through faith. Each of us has our faith. I have mine. I spend time with Him. I have also read about the importance of helping others, as Brother Paul said that faith without works is dead. I found the help of a friend to be necessary the other night. I would have suffered more without the tools and reminders shared with me.
So how do I share my faith without getting preachy or offensive? Practically. Including others. Giving back because I have been given much. Being open with my wallet. Letting the Lord be who He is, in me.
I’m off to bed and will probably write again in the am. My husband wrote a neat little ‘thing’ about Christmas and I asked him if I could share it. So I will have fun taking his though and adding my own to it and expressing it to you all. Good night.