I’ve been spending a decent amount of time lately meditating on the Lord… His words, His earthly life, the plan to resurrect and place a piece of the Holy Spirit within us. When all the garbage is stripped away, what am I here for? Love. I am pretty sure I’m here to love and be true. Human relationships are complicated matters, especially when questions need to be answered. “There is no such thing as a law of submission that will cover every situation. We must become highly skeptical of all laws that purport to handle every circumstance. Casuistic ethics always fail.”-super man of God
We are invited to yield before the Lord, and in doing so, before everyone else. It’s a beautiful moment in life when we see just how wretched and in need of Christ we are, as then we see His greatness. It doesn’t matter what I am trying to be or how I am trying to live, or what group I join, or what methods I use to attend, be a part of, or “do” church. The more I moved into a spiritual realm, Christ’s teachings became clearly the opposite of everything the world has to offer. So I did away with what the world had to offer. These days I am learning to be in the world and to love the people in the world, while not becoming a slave to the world’s ways. There is no stock answer for what to do in every situation and ever person. Sometimes yielding, or dying to self, means speaking and sometimes it begs to remain quiet.
In the last year I have learned that submission to human submission is good until it becomes destructive. I have been angry long enough. It hurt me to be in a place of yielding to something, not Someone. “Both Peter and Paul called for obedience to the pagan State because they understood the greater good that resulted from the human institution” – super man of God. I have not lived out the cross life in this way. I thought that the way to Jesus was around, over, and under anything worldly or man-made, but it’s just not that simple. I don’t know that it’s a bad thing to have some laws, guidelines, and rules. Only they need to come from the Bible, men and women who have shown their lives to be yielding to Christ and not a model of living, and who have accountability outside of their own small group of friends.
Jesus Christ is everything to me, just as He is to many Christians. So why do we get caught up in defending our way? Why is it important to be a part of this church or that church? He didn’t make some of us better than others, but that’s what we do when we divide ourselves. He sets us apart, there’s no need for us to do it. He died and became Almighty. If we stop talking about it for a bit in order to go out and help some people, it doesn’t mean He stops being all good things. He can be the Lord while I take time to do thing for others. I think I am beginning to see my life in a new light. After shedding hurtful and cult-like practices that I had picked up (not saying anyone else did, but I certainly did), I want the real Lord. The one who spent His life on earth living in communion with the Father. And what did the Father have Him doing? Serving others, spending time alone with Him (the Father), and teaching. So what would the Lord have me to do as I commune with Him the way He did with God? Well, almost the same thing. I am teaching my children full-time right now. There’s not a whole lot of time left over for much else but I am spending more time with the Lord. It’s necessary to commune with the Father and I do it through prayer and meditation, and sometimes through spending time with Him in the Scripture. Serving others? That has always been a part of this family’s life. We have been bringing meals and sharing comfort with people in need for years. For a while it was through church. When we did it on our own it was through my homeschool group. I made dear friends simply through serving others with love. And they were such a blessing to me. Now, I am getting my bearings in Kansas City and learning the area still. We hope to be serving soon enough as it’s in our spiritual DNA. For me and my family, it has never been a season, but an important part of our life. We can meditate, teach, and serve all in the same day if we are prepared. The only excuses are the ones I gave myself.
In 1870 woman named Hannah Whitall Smith wrote The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life. This woman had a very difficult life filled with unimaginable loss. She lost more than one child and husband to death, mental breakdowns, and abandonment, among many other hardships. In her book, which is the opposite of a step-by-step, 1 foot deep shallow how-to book, she chronicles her way through the pain, and how living by growth, service, the will of God, and failure, and seeing God in everything led to her fulfillment. We don’t have to do things Christ suggested, but we might just have a wonderfully joyful life if we do. This is my 3rd favorite book and I highly recommend it.
The fullness of God is found in many ways and many places. The most complete and whole and close to Him I ever was, happened to be in the mountains of New York at long-term rehab. There was an individual personal component to the communion I had with Him and there was also sincere time with others who were loving the Lord along with me.
In the presence of the Lord, who can claim anger, resentment, unforgiveness, and malice? Because of this it is not my place, right now while in His presence, to shed light on the darkness of what I felt and what I saw. I want the kingdom to be glorified and built up, but exposing a person practicing demonic communication in an otherwise already unhealthy group (just for an extreme example) is pointless and bad timing. Twice I have stood up for terrible things and twice I got burned by people, but exalted by God. My motives have always been with Him as I have also exposed when I was in the wrong or what I had done while in pain to hurt others. It’s no longer my place to share or try and be light in places that are dimming. When the light goes completely out, then I’ll shine my little light. I will be coming out with a blog eventually about the dangers of cults and how a sold-out Christian could be led so slowly and deceptively. It will be when I am much, much further from the situation so it will not be done out of spite, anger, and it will be done in His timing. I only want to warn others what I wish I was warned about. I am not referring to organic church, there are plenty of healthy ones alive today, but rather groups that are under that heading, but without the whole truth. It’s been recommended that I share about the lies I believed and I have support from many healthy group leaders. I will not be a spokesperson or scapegoat, as those who have already are being threatened. I don’t want to be threatened. I was already punished and just want to focus on the Lord. When the time is right, and bad fruit is revealed for what it is, the blog I’ve been writing in private will be released. It can be read like a book,with each post being its own chapter. Until then, I’ll be sharing about my journey back to a healthy relationship with the Lord. I’ll be sharing about homeschooling and raising the kids to be alive in Him, which is our first reason for homeschooling. I’ll be writing about health and I take my classes and get certified in that area.
Thanks for taking the journey with me, it’s a joyful one. Love is my religion, I live to Love and be true.