Did you know that moms can set the tone for a household, a day, and even a trip to the park? I read a few years ago that a mother’s voice has the ability to create peace in a child’s heart, or fear and anxiety. A series of tests were done on children’s stress levels, heart rates, and whatever medical stuff they do to conclude we are stressed, after a child has been spoken to harshly or spoken to in a loving manner. The conclusion of the article suggested that when leaving our children, dropping them off at school or practice, we, mothers, should always leave them with kind words. We have the ability like no one else to impart peace into their hearts with only our voice. it’s the mother’s voice which nurtures the child’s heart.
Fathers have their own special connections as well, but sorry guys, this one’s about mommies. Everything we do and say to our families is meaningful. As a mom I have the wonderful, albeit serious, responsibility to set a peaceful tone for the house. I have noticed my husband changing moods to suit mine. Same with my kids. You’ve heard the saying “if mom’s not happy, no one’s happy”, well it’s true. When I tear through the house talking loud and fast about all the things that haven’t been done and absolutely, positively have to get done right now or the world will fall apart, I create stress for my family. It’s just not a good way to live and not letting my family relax. I don’t want them to be afraid of my moods. Thank you God for showing me that truth.
So how do rules, cleaning, arguments between the kids, and other issues get set into place? Because while I can’t run around yelling at my family, I also need them to be accountable. I need to count on them. The weight of household chores, homeschooling, and out-of-the-home activities falls heavy on my shoulders. The more they pick up their slack, the better I’ll be, and in turn, the better they’ll be for it. I think respect is the key here. When I need time to myself and time to relax, I take it. But when I feel like it’s time to get moving and clean out the kid’s bedroom, which is an all day task by the way as it takes up almost half the basement, I can’t go on a rampage and freak out because the kids are relaxing. There needs to be respect for each other in order for this parenting thing to work.
A good solution to this has been modeling to my children what I would like in return from them. Slamming doors and cleaning loudly expecting them to read my mind and come help me just scares them and they still don’t know what I want from them. When wanting others to help, straightforwardness is key. I let them know what I’ll be doing, what I need done, and very specifically, what I need from them. I expect that they’ll do what we talked about and what I’ve asked of them because I respect that they deserve to know exactly what’s going to happen. We go through our loose schedule each morning and that way they know what needs to happen and when it’s happening. I respect that it’s essential they have time to themselves and it’s not always going to be on my schedule. There are many days when we finish our school work much later than planned because they needed a bigger break or extra time was needed for cleaning up the lunch mess.
Establishing rules are key. We live by a set of guidelines that give us a better life. Most of the rules have to do with how we treat each other and surprisingly it’s been the kids who set those rules and the kids who ask when they need to be enforced. Mom and Dad set rules too because we’ve lived this life longer and have gained more wisdom. Like I’ve said before, our family is a team, but me and Husband are the more experienced members of the team.
Hopefully, as a woman and mom of the house I set a good tone. I make mistakes, a lot of them, and I fall down. But for my kids I always, always get back up. If bitterness and discontent with life grows in my heart, my words will come out nasty. And their little hearts deserve to be stress free, especially from mommy. I hope I am being the faithful peacemaker the Lord’s made me to be. And I am glad all the members of my family are listened to and trusted. It’s only been through God’s grace… thank You.
Have a good day.