homeschooling, books, and a pathology report

Hi friends, sorry I haven’t written in a while, but I’ve had a lot on my plate. Don’t we all. Earlier this week I had a cystoscopy of my bladder and bladder dilation. It wasn’t so bad although it took up an entire day because I was “put under” for the procedure. The doctor didn’t tell Husband much other than my bladder was stiff so he couldn’t finish the procedure completely. I have noticed some good changes since then so I’m happy.

Several months ago I embarked on a journey that began at surgery #1, then had to undergo several medical procedures thereafter. And this week was going to be the last of them so I decided on Tuesday to re-open my online bookstore. I did a decent job in my first week, if I do say so myself. But also, I was unorganized, unprepared, and didn’t use my time wisely. We are going to be making several changes in the coming week(s). The kids need to help a little more around the house and they’ll be helping me with Usborne & More so this weekend we’ll go over the new schedule.

As a first-time work-at-home mom and homeschooler at the same time I spent the week frazzled; unsure of what to do with the kids while I worked, and feeling like I didn’t get enough academics squeezed in… so here’s what I’ve learned and figured out and what I’ll be doing to slide into a smarter, wiser, productive week .

Pray. I am going to lean on the Lord continuously, but concentrate my time with Him specifically during stressful and important times during the day. Like first thing in the morning. I need Him. And without Him I will fail at homeschooling and my business will fail. It will all fail without the Lord’s Hand on all of it. So I am going to pray without ceasing and spend my day leaning on my God.

As is, I have a daily schedule that isn’t working. Every so often, as life changes, scheduling needs changing. Here’s what I have in mind as I hope for resemblance of some balance… 3 days full-time school with bookstore work only 2 hours a day. One “independent” school day and the rest of that day the kids will help me unpack inventory and pack orders, and the final day will be a post-office and shopping day. Each afternoon/evening we’ll work on household chores. We’ll be a team.

This week I noticed several mistakes I made in running the online bookstore. My passion is books and reading and homeschool, not accounting. This week I made some poor decisions in the area of money. I could have increased profits by much, but I didn’t have the knowledge I do now. I feel good about learning on the job and I hope that my kids will learn percentages and math and ethics while helping me. I am learning and I really enjoy getting this thing off the ground and am energized by both working and homeschooling. It keeps my mind off depression. I am too busy to dwell on anything. Once the work and school are done it’s time to cook dinner. Life is good. Thank you Father.

So today I come home from grocery shopping and notice a hand-written envelope addressed to me from my urologist’s office. I just had the procedure done 4 days ago… and bills aren’t hand written, weird. As I open it and see that it might be serious I send the kids downstairs to clean their room. It’s a pathology report and there’s some highlighting on it and all of the words hit me at once. There was only one other time I was sent a pathology report. They are cold and straight forward and impersonal. The thing is, I wasn’t supposed to have a biopsy. I was having a dilation procedure. So when I realized he did a biopsy, I knew what he was checking for. I read two things… the only two things on the page… the cells tested were not confirmed malignant. THANK YOU JESUS! And that I have pre-cancerous squamous cells in my urine. I couldn’t breathe for about an hour. I felt sick. I wasn’t going to go to my post-op appointment, but now I am. And it sucks that I got the letter at 4:30 on a Friday night. I couldn’t even call my doctor to ask, “what the heck?” I am sure it’s nothing a little scraping and brushing of the cells can’t fix, but it’s still scary. And because the urinary tract is connected… the kidneys, ureter, bladder, and urethra… who knows where the cells originated? And why is my bladder stiff?

I love writing this blog. It makes me happy and I feel unfinished when I don’t write in it. My next post will have some substance, as this one is just an update. I am excited to be homeschooling and selling books I love and believe in, and I am not excited to have any more medical procedures.

Off to have a rare night to try to enjoy some alone time with my husband to just enjoy our time. No talk about money, kids, business, health, and homeschooling. Just a movie rental and some wine and time with my better half.

Talk to you guys later.

Love,

Jackie

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